One day I was messing around on my iPhone trying to find a good photo editing app for Instagram. I came across the app "A Beautiful Mess". Not only is it a great app, but the term "A Beautiful Mess" hit me quite hard. I couldn't help thinking how that term describes my life in a nutshell. What I mean by this is that my life is beautiful in a sense that I have everything I need to be happy, though far from perfect and at times extremely chaotic, I try so hard to be perfect in my own perfect little world, which by the end of the day boils down to being a royal mess. I've always had a really hard time excepting the fact that I'm not perfect. I want to get to the point where I can except my mistakes and mess of a life, and enjoy every day without worrying that I'm doing it all wrong. Happiness is not perfection, it is the mental and emotional state of contentment. As long as my mess stays beautiful, I can be content.
Just a little background about my life. I was very lucky and blessed at the early age of 18 to find the love of my life. We were sealed in the Bountiful Temple soon after I turned 19. About 2 1/2 months later, we were pregnant with our first child and only daughter. When she turned one, pregnancy #2 was on his way. Everything seemed too perfect and way too easy. It didn't stay that way for long, we were pregnant again, and not with one, but two baby boys. That's right, twins! I felt like my life was turning upside down. I gave birth to my twin boys at the age of 24. Here, I was only 24 and had a 4 year old, 2 year old, and 2 newborns. Handling 4 car seats is no easy task! I had made the decision to get a tubal ligation. Months and months went by dealing with uterine pain, by the time I was 25, a hysterectomy was my only option. After that my health went speedily downhill, I felt like I was living at the hospital. 2010 was basically a living hell! Fast forward to 2013, life has settled down, but continuously keeps me on my toes. I am turning the big 3-0 on Tuesday, and I feel like this blog is a good way to count my many blessings. Just 3 years ago, I was unsure if I was going to make it to my 27th birthday. So, the birthday that most women dread, I can say is blessing #1......my precious life!
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